8.06.2009

the details

so it seems in the passed few months i've gotten a lot of questions about my wedding, i suppose since it is the summer and also peak wedding season. i will talk about my wedding all day long, i loved it!

i am also happy to go through the details of that day and prove once and for all that you don't need $100,000 dollars, a wedding planner, a ferris wheel, and Vera Wang to make a wedding happen.
you don't even need $10,000 dollars. don't believe me? i'll prove it.

the story goes like this...
being the first girl in my family to get married, my parents had no clue what they were doing.
they said that they would give us a wedding budget and anything we didn't use they would give us in cash. russ and i were ALL over that... having a combined savings of $12.67... so we set out to plan the most inexpensive wedding possible, but still hold true to aspects of our dream wedding.

engagements:

taken by my dad and his Nikon D20. proof that you really only need a good camera and good lighting. FREE!

bridals:
done by my good friend matt clayton.
i can't tell you how much he charged but it was not a lot.

the dress:

now, don't judge, but this dress was 1/7th of our total wedding costs.
my four HAVE-TO-HAVES for the dress were:

1. V-neck
2. lace
3. mermaid
4. cream color

when i looked far and wide, met with seamstresses, and heard it would be more like $10,000 for my dress i gave up. my mom and i went to one more store... the bride's shop on west temple in SLC... and there it was. it wasn't mermaid, but it was PERFECT.

the shoes:
blue and cream snakeskin kitten heels:--Via Spiga, about 100$. i didn't even end up wearing them cause they hurt. i bought some flats at american eagle for $9.99 and never looked back.

a word on "bridezillas"... there are many kinds. some demand luxury and the best, and some are the opposite. i asked "who says?" to everything.
"who says we need a cake?"
"who says you have to have awkward dancing?"
"who says you have to have a line?"
it drove my very traditional mother CRAZY!!!!
she won on a lot of points, but i won on the cake...
cream puffs from costco -- $50?

sure it's ghetto, but I DON'T EVEN LIKE CAKE. i wasn't about to spend $400 dollars on one.

the party:

we got married at 4 p.m., we took pictures for 2 hours, met back at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building at 6 p.m., had a ring ceremony, ate at 7 p.m. and were outta there by 9p.m.

because of the nature of our wedding, and the very specific stipulations, a large number of family on my side, and russ' side weren't at our ceremony. we wanted them to feel a part of the day, most of them traveling from other states, so we had a ring ceremony and a very intimate dinner. we had toasting, surf & turf dinner, and plenty of music.

my biggest hope was that the 100 guests would feel our gratitude for having them in our lives. hopefully it worked?

***********
in blog land i would let you believe that this wedding was perfect, went off with absolutely no problems, and we lived happily ever after.

WRONG. but, to the future brides that read this... the hiccups are the best part! they are what we look back on and laugh. they are what make our wedding OURS.

1. i wanted a nautical theme. this was 2005, nautical theme didn't exist yet.
the only thing that worked out was my nephew Adam's sailor suit... which he hated.
my advice: don't do a theme unless you can execute it in all areas,
otherwise it just confuses people.
so the colors were navy, cream, and light blue.

girls wore:
navy crocheted shrug $20
cream 3/4 tissue tee $19.50
handmade polka dot cocktail skirt $3

boys wore:
navy suits FREE
blue ties $15


2. my french anemones came in the mail green and wilted.
saddest day ever. we had to rethink my bouquet, boutonnieres, corsages in a days notice.
my mom found a lady who does the wholesale ordering for costco... she got us what we needed in roses ($200.00) and my mom's floral arranging friend did it all for, you guessed it, FREE!



3. my family left for the wedding from Provo to Salt Lake City without my 12 year-old brother Casey. i didn't even know this happened until after the wedding. thankfully-- nicole hadn't left yet and picked him up!

04. my mom forgot her temple recommend.
russ and i were sealed in the SLC temple. that means that to enter the temple at all you have an interview with a bishop and a stake president. they give you a signed card that lets the temple workers know you are worthy to be there. if you forget your card, you're not going in.

again... THANKFULLY my mom's bishop came to the sealing and vouched for her.
i only sat alone in the dressing room for 20 minutes crying... not too much damage done.

05. my dad forgot his song lyrics.
russ and i live for music, it is one of our biggest commonalities.
we had to have lots of music at our wedding.
my brother collin sang "fix you" by coldplay
russ' brother mitch sang "i hope tomorrow is like today" by ben kweller & guster
my dad sang "have you ever been in love" by peter cetera
but forgot his lyrics... for 10 minutes.
then he remembered and kept playing. he was so nervous but so determined to finish his song.
i loved it!

06. the "Ann" or "Nancy" fiasco.
i know now that it is Nancy Stewart. not Ann Stewart.

07. i hit a guest in the head with my bouquet.
i go to toss my bouquet, got a group of girls behind me. i throw the bouquet, it has a little too much arc on it, i hit demarie anderson in the face. she's not even standing up to catch it. she's just sitting in her seat watching.

in conclusion...

you don't need money, you don't need the perfect family, the perfect groom, the perfect location, weather, dress, make up, or relationship to have your perfect wedding.

your big day is about love and union and joy. nothing else matters.

26 comments:

Lindsey S. said...

Love it!

Amber said...

Thanks for sharing Emily. Your wedding was beautiful! I thought it was more fun to plan it on a small budget. I think you are able to be more creative that way. Your day was beautiful!
XOXO

jenna said...

this is your best post in the history of all posts. i just love it and can still remember your announcement sitting on my parents dining table. little did i know that you had picked the most wonderful {and hairy} guy. i love me some russ and emily.

Auntie Em said...

When i think of all the weddings/receptions I have been to yours always comes in, in the top 3. It was so beautiful.

Jene and Megan said...

Amen and gorgeous!!

Kellee Marie Cook said...

So I've realized I have been coming on your page many times and loving the posts but never making comments. I don't know why but know that I love your blog and loved this post. The pictures are great, you look amazing, and I am happy you guys are so in love. that's what really counts.

Emily Frame said...

you gals are too nice. thanks so much!

Lindsay said...

I love that I remember that day like it was yesterday. I'm still laughing about your Dads song, we all felt so bad for him!

Also, you failed to mention the fiasco when one of your friends got chewed out by an ex inside the temple..."what happened? I get one letter, then next thing I hear your married?"...One of the most awkward moments of my life!!!

Lindsay said...

p.s. I can't believe how young you both look. I love it!

jasmine said...

that sounds like such an incredible day. i totally agree you do NOT need to blow a bunch of money on a wedding to have it turn out beautifully. by the way, your dress is gooooorgeous, and you look absolutely magnificent in it. :)

Sara said...

I am in LOVE with your dress and your photos! Probably the two most important things on a wedding list. Looks like it was fun and beautiful!

Monica said...

I check out your fab little blogo quite often and am never disappointed. This post is right on.

Hayley Anderson Photography said...

I love what you said about the money. Save your 100 grand for a gosh dang house or something that lasts more than a day. Besides, a diy wedding is much more fun and personal.

And tell your dad he's not alone. I sang a song to Jt without a hitch and then when it came to sing Harvest Moon to my dad I totally froze. I ended up having the words fed to me from the guitarist behind me. Oh well! It made us all laugh afterward!

Unknown said...

what a magical day. your tips you gave me when i was planning my wedding helped me big time. i love the picture you circled of your husbands face, priceless.

Jan said...

Thanks for the great memories. We loved your beautiful wedding. I cried my eyes out! I still remember trying to keep Tracy out of the cream puffs! I love you both!

Emily Frame said...

Jan! we miss you so much! i hope you're hanging in there, if you ever need company call us!

Lindsay Ross said...

I wish I was there! Yes my little guy is talking up a storm. Only a few words are in english but he sure thinks he is pretty hip.

Diana said...

This is so refreshing to read. I feel like all of the weddings out there in internet-world are so over-the-top...homemade macaroons from France, a Ferris wheel + cotton candy machine, professional photographers that the bride/groom pay to fly in for the wedding, a designer dress...etc etc etc. It's all too much and misses the point of the entire day. A day about joining two souls together forever. I'm so glad you had the spirit and courage to have the wedding YOU wanted and make it shine. It looks like it was a lovely day for you and didn't start your marriage out in awful debt. Good for you!

Jazz Joyner Livingston said...

Holy cow, someone got chewed out from their ex??? You never know when those Dear Jons will come back to get you.

Collin said...

That was a fabulous wedding. Still remember trying to hit those high Chris Martin notes...

Matt Clayton said...

My favorite was un-stuffing and stuffing you back in the car.

Unknown said...

I love this! It is so beautiful and looks like a fabulous day!

megan and melissa said...

I love this post! Thanks for sharing... I totally live by the belief that you don't have to have a lot of money to make a great wedding day. It is more about the memories than the accessories. Happy Weekend!
Melissa
fiddlesticksandfunnygirls.blogspot.com

ccanderson said...

Thanks for the walk down memory lane. I loved thinking back on that day. I thought it was a lovely wedding. When we were looking for Angela's dress, we remembered how much we liked yours and that was three years later! Quite an impression.....

{lindy baker cakes} said...

That tiered cream puff cake really brings back horrrible memories of my dad thinking they were just to "snack on" when we got to your wedding dinner. He and my brothers were grabbing them and of course my mom was frantic. It was awful. We're still really sorry.

Kit said...

Memories, memories....My temple recommend was in Casey's pocket! I thought of all the places I could put that most essential object for me to enjoy the day, for safe keeping, was there. . . .surely I wouldn't leave the house without my youngest child!

I loved your dinner and the open mike, as well as the music. There was such an outpouring of love and joy from all in attendance. It was a beautiful celebration of what was real, and lasting, and important!

I love you Emily....and you gave me such an incredible gift in giving me Russ for a new son....I love him to pieces!

Mom

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