Raleigh - 3 months

Cripes this is late, Raleigh is almost 4 months old at this point but he has been so gosh darn cute this month how could we skip?!'

Raleigh laughs! Raleigh rolls! Raleigh sleep regresses! 

So much growth this month. I'd have to go back into Hayes and Cal's monthly updates to be sure, but I am preeeetty sure I didn't say this for them so hopefully some credibility is intact when I announce -- Raleigh is a genius. Yes, Hayes and Cal are both highly intelligent in their own respective ways, but Raleigh is advanced in a way I haven't experienced at this age. I sound INSUFFERABLE and I am laughing at myself, but this is for memory's sake so I gotta.

He mimics sounds. He says Hi. No joke. I say Hi he says Hi back. I wave at him and he watches my hand like a hawk then sticks his hand out and moves his fingers a bit. He is the most studious baby, he just watches you and examines you and bores into your soul sometimes. It's disarming in a way that no baby has disarmed me before. I am still laughing but I'm dead serious.

He is super vocal. You know those videos of dogs who howl with their owners, like back and forth they just howl together? He does this. And he'll switch back and forth between sounds and I copy his sound and he copies mine and we go back and forth for a good minute or so and it's the cutest.

He rolls from his stomach to his back and he travels quite a bit when he sleeps so guessing he's got some sort of army crawl down.

First flight // last flight

I took him on his first flight to Santa Barbara for a work thing and I hired a sitter basically blindly from an acquaintance but everything went well. I got my work done the first day and then basically cuddled in a hotel bed with him for the second day. I made and have since made the mistake again of sleeping on my stomach at night. Both times I think I clog a milk duct or something and I feel terrible the next day or so. Like flu-ish, achey, and tired. Maybe it's mastitis but I can usually get it to go away after a day. Gotta learn my lesson! I am working again to get my milk supply up but he pretty consistently gets and needs a few ounces of formula a night. He sleeps so much better and even thought I feel bad about it I am grateful for the option since flipping sides back and forth ten times gets frustrating.

Facetiming // Trying so hard to get a pic of him at the beach. Ha! He hated the sun in his eyes but loved the sound of the waves and slept most of the time.

The last few days he was up every hour or two and it rocked my world. I remember my other boys doing this and everyone says it takes forever to grow out of and eventually is the reason they all sleep train their babies, and I foresee another struggle with this. I am terrible at sleep training and hate it and don't want to do it. Russ usually ends up doing it and then I am so grateful because they sleep so much better but I just can't - at least not yet. Hoping I can help him get a better routine in place without crying it out. It breaks my heart!

I just can't stress enough how sweet this baby is. His whole face smiles, his whole face cries, his whole body gets startled when he hears a new or loud sound. It's the funniest thing. His arms shoot out like he's reaching for the walls and his eyes get wide. Every time I blow a raspberry into the air he gets startled. He's really sensitive to sound and loudness like Hayes was!

 He lights up a room, he flirts. He is everything to me I just can't complain or even wish away a single second. We're so blessed and grateful for him! All of us. Cal says "I yuv you soo0OO0ooo much Ra-wee." Hayes takes the best care of him and when I had to bring him to a thing at Hayes' school Hayes literally paraded him around. Russ looks pained when he doesn't get enough time with him.

We also blessed him this last month which is always so great. Russ friends come in droves and I love seeing the strength my boys have to look up to and turn to and grow up with! I can't remember hardly  anything about the blessing except that his body would be healthy for serving others and maybe something about kindness and getting married to a worthy woman and having a family of his own.

Raleigh as a Jedi at a birthday party


Raleigh - 2 Months

In one month Raleigh went from tiny fragile newborn to chunky smiling and vocal. He's so fun at this age and here's a bit about him!

This was him right at the beginning of his 2nd month, just a lot of sleeping. Lots of days my milk couldn't keep up with him so I was doing lactation tea around the clock, waited to work out or do anything that might effect the supply, pumped, AND still gave him a few formula bottles a week. Happily even with the struggle he chunked right up! At this 2 month appointment he was 12.5 pounds and had grown like three inches. His head is his biggest percentile and those furrowed brows still kill us all.

He loves showers with dad,
 his brothers light him up and we recently noticed he is super drawn to Mickey Mouse. So we love showing him Mickey Mouse on the TV and sure enough he is a Mickey fan at 2 months old. Ha. He'll give us laughs when he gets worked up and we love him so freaking much it hurts. He's our world and everyone lives for Raleigh time.

I moved him to his crib this month and then he got a runny nose and was up like every hour. Awful! So I moved him back to my bed where he sleeps 4 hours stretches. As if it wasn't hard enough to move him to his crib its gonna be really hard to move him now!
Hello chunkers!!

The lips though.


If you just look at Raleigh he bursts into a full face smile. It creeps up in the corner of that mouth and just busts wide open. He can't be contained and I can't stop staring in case I miss one.
The kid can sleeeeep. Not necessarily all at once, but he still sleeps a ton. It seems like he's only up for 20 min- 1 hour before he's ready to go back down. A true Frame!

His first campfire.
His brothers are still obsessed with him. They make it so fun! And annoying some times like literally the back of two blond heads in my face all the time while he's eating.

Its been super interesting but I am sort of anti taking pictures of him. At least like the posed ones, I just can't do it. I just want to hold him and take candids and pretend the online world doesn't exist. Like seeing Snapchat filters on babies breaks my heart. I can't explain it! He's too pure for this stupid world and I can't let him participate in the BS. Does that make any sense? I took these two though and of course they're cute. Maybe I'll grow out of it?


Cal's 5th Birthday Party

Cal's favorite people in the world are his cousins. They're his #1 friends and since they had a vacation planned, it ended up that his birthday party needed to be the day before Bijou. Oof! So we kept it super simple invited and did a family party + August ;) and went to this super cool climbing place called Funtopia. They had a blast!

There's this structure where they have to do a leap to grab either a stuffed bag or a bar. So proud watching my boys conquer their fears. 


Cal at 5

Cal is 5! What the absolute heck?! It felt like he was 4 for 100 years but for some reason being 5 sounds so crazy old to me. Here's a bit about Cal at 5:

He is the most beautiful swimmer. That ballerina body might actually be a swimmer body instead. He did lessons this Summer and has progressed so much! 

Cal is still the funniest. He has a very natural sense of humor that is so effortless and lots of times kids trying to be funny just means they're being annoying, but Cal is actually funny to me on an adult level. He always has been and I don't know what that will mean for his future but we enjoy it so much around these parts.
First day of preschool. He enjoyed preschool, even as my introvert, he had a couple friends he really liked - Nate and Persephone and Weston. He has one more year of pre-k and then he'll be Kindergarten! We opted to have him be old for his grade and I still feel really good about that decision. He'll be starting a more academic 4 day a week pre-k and thinking that is the best transition possible.
He is such a lover, cuddly, snuggly and loves to lay by mom and dad and Raleigh. He is super sensitive to things that are scary (and things that aren't scary like a recording of a lion roaring, going to the bathroom alone etc.) He is sensitive to energies it seems too and gets tired and needs down time a lot after being around people. He doesn't like kids in his personal space and is really just a textbook introvert minus that he LOVES to be the center of attention at our house.

He is in his own world lots of the time. Pretend fighting, Hulk Smashing, lots of play fighting. I catch him doing this all day long. Like below:

So silly, and never smiling normal:

And let's not forget his naughty side. The kid is so crass, every thing is a butt joke. I told him he needed new material and he said "How bout weiners?" He is constantly saving up toots to rip on his dad, has dance moves that would make a stripper blush. He actually has a move called the weiner guitar where he strums his junk like he's playing an air guitar. I just don't know man, he's a trip! Ive put him in time out a million times his naughtiness but he is undeterred.
I put him in time out earlier this year and came into the room to find this ...
He's complicated and complex and a multi dimensional little dude. He's so many things. and reminds me of that Walt Whitman poem, "I'm large, I contain multitudes" we're only scratching the surface with this kiddo.

Since adding a little sibling Cal has changed so much! It was like before when he was the youngest and with Hayes being so unassuming, he got lots and lots of attention. Everyone was trying to get him to engage with them and he could care less. So many people told me all the time that they just wanted Cal to acknowledge them. He's too cool for school! But, now that he's the middle child I've seen him make more of an effort to be noticed, he actually tries to converse with people, and is more assertive about being noticed and heard. How grateful am I for siblings and birth order, without this change he'd never have to grow and adapt and progress and its been great to watch! Of course I feel bad a lot since he doesn't get as much attention as he once did, but overall it's been great!

Cal's expression before meeting Raleigh:

Meeting Raleigh was iffy and stayed that way for a few days after we brought him home. Cal was super excited to see him but didn't really want to go near him or touch him. I could not figure out why and it was breaking my heart! Finally we realized that first, the umbilical cord freaked Cal out. So once that fell off he'd go a little closer. But then we realized that he also didn't like Raleigh to be in just a diaper, which was tricky since Raleigh was on the bili-bed and had to be in a diaper all day and night. BUT as soon as Raleigh was dressed Cal became obsessed and still is. He's constantly commenting on how cute he is, "I like his nose" "I like his pajamas" He wants to lay by him talk to him pet his head. He is his biggest fan! HE came in one night late and said he "just wanted to sweep wif Ra-wee.