3.17.2010

natural birth story part II

"push fest 2k10."
You made it back! Now, where were we...

Part II of Hayes' Birth-Day
Read Part I here>

As soon as this overwhelming need to push comes, there is really no stopping me now. Nurse Kami says we can start pushing without Dr. Wolsey and at this point I'm like "Who? Give me the stirrups!" Every time I feel a contraction coming, I hold my breath and push my heart out. Finally, after two hours of helplessly breathing through contractions, now I get to put my back into and actually do something about it, and I love it! With every push I feel mounting pressure, but it's the most amazing feeling in the world! For the next hour, its three rounds of pushing and then literally gasping for air.

My mom sees his little head first and I feel like a million bucks. I know I can do this, and we're all so ready to meet this little guy. At this point I am totally owning this push-fest. In fact I own this whole room, this hospital even, I am on a serious high. I've got a group of nurses watching my every push, and they're all cheering me on. I know what a good push feels like, and I know what a useless one feels like. If I don't get a good push in, I make myself do an extra one. [If only I had this motivation at the gym.]

After the quickest hour of my life, finally Russ catches a glimpse of Hayes' face. Dr. Wolsey says "Stop Pushing!" At this point I don't know if I can, my body is doing all the work, I am just guiding the pressure it's creating. I figure out a way somehow and then he says "Push now! Hard!" and I hear a cry.

Russ is sobbing and can barely see to cut the cord, but he does, and Dr. Wolsey lays Hayes on my chest and I feel like I've known him forever, and he is mine!

From that moment on Hayes swept us away. We are so caught up in him and his crazy arm flails, his toots, his big beautiful blue eyes, and his ear-to-ear smiles. Every moment I look at Hayes I am reminded that God lives, and He loves us. I feel that I came one step closer to grasping the atonement of Jesus Christ that night. I know deep and intense pain, but I also know that there is opposition in all things. Every moment of pain made room for me to be able to feel the equal and opposite in love and joy.

I know it is not the popular choice to have a baby the way I did. In fact, I was told that only 1% of pregnancies are natural by choice. But, it was a choice, and I am so grateful for the people in my life that supported my goal from the beginning. Those who never judged, who never placed bets, who never for a moment made me feel crazy. They know who they are.

So, was it worth it? Absolutely. But, not because it was a natural delivery, because I don't think that one way is better than another, they're simply two different choices. But, because it was for Hayes. And I've come to learn real quick that I would do just about anything for that little man.

I can't thank my little sister Bethany enough for staying with me [until I kicked her out, didn't want to traumatize her too much!] and taking pictures. These were all taken by her, on AUTO nonetheless.

43 comments:

Heather said...

I've been a longtime lurker, never a commenter, but I just wanted to thank you for sharing your beautiful account of such a sacred experience. I've read a lot of birth stories online, but I honestly think this has got to be absolutely THE most beautiful one yet. It made me look forward even more to having my own children.

Hayes is gorgeous!

Logan said...

ahhh... totally crying right now! Russ's face is priceless in that picture of him and Hayes. I am so impressed you had a natural delivery too, way to go! I'm incredibly happy for you guys. Can't wait to read about the adventures to come. :)

Brittany said...

Emily, this is the greatest thing I've read in months. Currently crying and currently have so much respect for you. Good work. You are amazing.

Angie said...

Such a beautiful story of what takes place when you give birth. You not only brought me to tears but you brought me right back to the day each of my precious gifts from God were born. Thank you so much for sharing and reminding me. Cuz let's face it- the little boogers grow up and can work your patience like no one else! ;)

Devery Hamblin said...

Emily, thank you so much for sharing your amazing story. I can't believe you had him naturally! You are amazing! I hope that you getting some sleep :)

Brandon and Katie said...

Wow... That made me so incredibly excited for giving birth. It will be such a spiritual experience. Pregnancy in and of itself is an incredible experience. My mom did the natural birth and I really want to try. I have a pretty low pain tolerance but if you have any good advice, books or classes that helped prepare you please share. That really was a beautiful story!!! Thanks for sharing with us. Keep the updates coming! Congrats.

Jane said...

I don't even remember how I came across your blog, but I love your witty posts. The sweet expressions on you and your husband's faces in these photos made me tear up! So beautiful! Congratulations!

Lacey Jane said...

Emily- this post was beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing, as I am eagerly taking in any birth stories, and this post in particular really hit me; I cannot wait. Congrats on being a new mommy!

chari-o said...

me too...crying...at work. as if they didn't already think i'm crazy :).

Stacey Sargent said...

oh geez...these are really getting to me. Stop making me cry!!! But really, keep the stories coming, cause I love reading them!

PinkSass said...

I love reading your story. Such an inspiration since I also want to do natural childbirth.

You have a truly beautiful family.

Carlita said...

this is so beautiful. thank you for sharing, and congrats! you can already tell that so much love surrounds that little boy.

{lindy baker cakes} said...

Stop making me cry!!!!!! My goodness this is beautiful. You are such a good mom already. I completely know if the feelings you are feeling where you would literally do anything for him. Everyone asks me how I could possibly be on this strict diet, and it's challenging at times but so much easier when I look at Blake.

Becky said...

This is the best written story... Edge of my seat. The picture of your hubby is the sweetest. Congatulations! I'd love to know more on why you went with the natural choice? Just out of curiosity.

Thanks for the answer to my random questions all the time!!

Now get some rest!!

Prina Family said...

Beautiful. All of you. I am so happy for you. It really is a spiritual experience and sooo worth it! The best part is, every day gets better

The Red Crew said...

Congratulations!!!! I'm so happy for you guys! Hayes is so beautiful and so was the account of his birth...it was so fun to read! I hope you (and your boobs) are doing well during the "after" phase. Can't wait to see more pics of the little guy.

Martha said...

What a beautiful account. Thank you for sharing Emily.

Bean said...

Could you warn a girl to grab tissues next time?! ;)

Such a beautiful, amazing story that I think you should tell Hayes over and over again.

You're a beautiful family and deserve every ounce of happiness you can possibly get!

Alycia (Crowley Party) said...

:) all I can do it smile right now! You are so inspiring. I am so happy for you and your new little family.

Greg & Linds said...

Congrats Emily! Beautifully told! And I bow down to you for going the natural route. Don't know if I'll ever have the guts. ;) Oh holy cow...having a photographer taking pictures of YOU while in labor! That too is oh so impressive. And you're as gorgeous as ever! Miss you!

Jan said...

Ok, I am crying my eyes out right now. Emily and Russ are parents! Hayes is so perfect and your birth story is amazing. I love you!

Lindsay said...

you are amazing Emily!

Eri said...

this is such a sweet story!! and it made my eyes well up :)

xxxx

Dana said...

He is PERFECT! We can hardly wait to meet Hayes in person. You did good, Emily. So proud of you for sticking with your choice! <3

Meagan + Michael said...

That is so awesome! I am so glad people that matter the most to you supported your decision. Everyone was down on me for wanting to go natural so I gave into the peer pressure and scary stories(even thought I ended up going natural anyways). You are so strong! Good for you.

Danny and Shalayne said...

EM you are amazing!!! I am so proud of you and I know what you mean about everyone thinking you're crazy for wanting to go natural...I got it all the time too (however...I ended up getting an epidural because of my weirdy situation) but next time I am going to try again. Seriously, you said it perfect...so much pain but so much joy.

Dari said...

{I tried to comment earlier and I don't think it worked... if it did, I apologize for the dup.}

Thank you for sharing your beautiful birth story with us. What an amazing experience becoming a mother is. I had to have my lil one via C-section because she was breech but you inspire me to try for a VBAC with the next.

I think it is fabulous that you had a birthplan that you felt good about and that you stuck to it. That must be so fulfilling. Congrats again and he is adorable.

Dana Dastrup said...

Tears are rolling down!! I love your amazing little family!! Hayes is so handsome and you look gorgeous!!

You are a mom now!! And that has got to be the best feeling in the world!! Someday I will get to experience that for myself!

Can't wait to hold this little guy in my arms!

Kat Clark said...

I wrote a little post like this just a while back after Violet was born. I also remember when Jack was a few months old bawling my eyes out to a friend and doing my best to explain it all. It is just one of those things that you can't fully understand until it happens and it is the most beautiful thing in the world. You did an awesome job telling it.

Congratulations a million times over, you are so rad and so beautiful and you are a drug free rock star!

robin said...

pretty awesome. i love your story. it's a good one...

Bean said...

Awww, sorry I made you cry, too. But yes, we're even now.

Your story stayed in my head all day. I hope that when the time comes for me that I will have just as amazing as an experience.

Seriously so happy for you!

The Sandy Bottom Crew said...

Motherhood is amazing isn't it? I am so happy for you guys and way to go emily!!!

Anonymous said...

One of the best birth stories. Ever.

Susan said...

what a beautiful story, had me in tears.

Kent and Leisy said...

it made me sick, em. I can't believe you did it. even thinking about those labor pains makes me so sick. way to go, champ. really, you can do anything if you can do that. I love that russ was sobbing. congrats again!

Kayla R. said...

I am sooooo excited for you three!!! How AMAZING!! Congrats!!! Cant wait to meet the little guy:)

Missy said...

Good for you Emily! Natural birthing is the way to go. My sister did it and my mom did it with three of us. You're so strong and I admire you for that. Natural all the way.

Congratulations on the birth of your little guy. I'm so happy for you. And I love the name. It is darling. Enjoy him.

.caroline armelle. said...

wow! that is an amazing story! congrats!

i give props to all who do natural birth.
i pretty much did with norah, but not intending to.
by the time i got to the hospital, i was already dilated to a 10. i still was able to get an epidural right before i was about to deliver since my water hand not broken yet. and, good think it didn't because i would have had her in the car, they said.
but, i would have been really nice to have been prepared for all of it.
i think next time, i'll look into all the breathing techniques, just in case i need them again.

way to go!
he's beautiful!

Ashley Lynn Fry said...

What an amazing birth story- you go GIRL! I guess I am the in that 1% with you... or at least I hope to be... not pregnant yet but I really want to do the whole thing naturally as well. Thanks for more inspiration when the time comes!

xo

BECKY said...

I was just wasting time looking at friends of friends of friends (you know!) blogs and came across your birth story and have since read like every post from now back to forever ago. I LOVE your writing style; totally makes me smile. Also, thank you for sharing your birth story. I am planning on going natural with our little girl in less than 2 months. I am glad to hear that even though you were dying at the end that you did make it through. I needed to hear that. I so hope that I will not get to the end and then just succumb to the epidural. I need to do this for myself but I am scared to death. Anyway, thanks for your story. So excited for your little family and can't wait to add one to our little fam!

Penny in Pink said...

Super late in reading this post--just blog stalking and found it, but congratulations on your beautiful baby and having a natural birth! I just gave birth naturally in June 2010, but I did it at home. If you're going to have more babies and have them naturally, you should totally consider it. No pitocin (I don't know how you did it with pit--I would have quit), no monitors restricting your movements, no doctors telling you when to (or not to) push. Just you and your hubby and your baby (and a qualified midwife, you know, just in case). Either way, congrats again. You're a tough cookie.

kinze said...

loved loved loved hearing your birth stories ... crazy thing is hayes's birth story sounds so much like my first birth story! thanks for sharing!

kelseywilliams said...

oh, i love you for sharing these! i had a med-free birth (by choice!) a few months ago. it was really hard and fast and i wasn't sure i wanted to do it again, but reading your second birth story makes me want to. i had postpartum depression but now that it's over i totally want another baby. :) anyway, the IV for group b strep was the worst part, i hated it! although, my water broke at home at what i'm guessing was 4 cm and so i felt crazy tough contractions for 3 hours and then pushed for an hour. you are a rockstar and it sounds like you were made to push out babies! :)

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