7.01.2010

excuse me, flo?

are we watching so you think you can dance? are we loving?!
i was just minding my own business when ashley's piece came on...
whole body chills! i didn't realize i'd be reliving march 10, 2010.
isn't amazing how music makes memories so tangible?

a month before my due date, three days before hayes actually came, i made a very thoughtful "it's baby day" playlist with a little bit of everything on it. i didn't know if i'd want something to soothe me like clair de lune (debussy), or something to drown out the intensity like "in your honor" (foo fighters) something to entice hayes' exit like "make you feel my love" (adele), something to remind me of the previous 9 months like "weird" (colin meloy.) something to encapsulate the last six years with Russ "what it feels like" (sunfall festival.)

i thought through every scenario, every emotion. i threw on "cosmic love" by florence + the machine, as another option if i needed to be pumped up. the playlist was seven hours long, and i was worried it wouldn't be long enough. silly, emily.

somehow i went the last three months without hearing it again, until tonight.
if you want to know what having a baby feels like, to me, listen up.


8 comments:

kami @ no biggie said...

very cool. Love the sound + the wierd. ;)

Amy said...

Wow. I totally felt like I was there. I want you to know that you have inspired me with your story of natural childbirth. My story: I have struggled with infertility for about 4 years and I'm hoping that my time will come soon as we are about to go through treatments. To be honest, I hadn't really given much thought to what birth plan would be my preference since typically ya kind of need to get pregnant first before you have a need to think about it. But after reading your experience, it all just clicked in my mind. I want that euphoric moment of meeting my baby after all of the pain (including the pain I've already felt). I think that after what I've been through: the longing, the heartache, the despair, the waiting, the physical pain, and so on, that I just might have the motivation to endure through that natural pain of childbirth just so I can more fully experience that euphoric moment of extreme joy to finally have my baby at the end of this crazy journey. And from there a different kind of journey begins. So thank you for sharing this and your other thoughts on natural childbirth. It has changed my perspective completely.

Dana Dastrup said...

I love this song and it's so amazing to hear what it means to me!!

I am LOVING every dance on SYTYCD... This season has been amazing!

esther lee said...

I love her and this song is one of my favs. So glad others are catching on.

Dari said...

I am definitely watching SYTYCD and loving it, as always!!! That is why I love music so much. It is so moving and spiritual almost. It is the best way to store a memory/feeling in your soul. I love that song and I am shocked that I have never heard it before.{I am behind} So thank you for sharing!

The Howards said...

Wait a minute you forgot to add sevendust to that playlist. Good post love ya!!!!

Katie said...

this is one of my favorites! It gets me through many a rough workout. :) I love all her voice!

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