not what vegas meant...

we pulled out a spontaneous trip to las vegas last weekend and a few people asked how a family vacay to vegas actually goes down. oh you mean, not the sunshine and daisy instagram version? 

let's discuss.

after we pulled in, we were starved and Russ had rave reviews for Holstein's Shakes and Buns.
freaking killer burgers, mac and cheese like i've never tasted, even the caesar salad killed it.

friday night in las vegas at a trendy burger joint with overly-tired kids?
they held it together, and then started throwing stuff and climbing all over and putting their chocolate shake covered faces and hands all over young hotties. said hotties were loving it. (not.)

we pumped Hayes up about the long drive with promises of going swimming. 
he still thinks that the word "vegas" means "pool"
Russ and I discussed not worrying about naps and just letting them sleep where the may so we could get as much in as we wanted. but then we came up from the pool to get dressed and this happened.
for like three hours. 
you all know i don't wake a sleeping babe. under any circumstances save fire, quake, flood.

not what vegas meant by multiple sleeping partners, Hayes.

they eventually woke up and we went to the mall. at which point Hayes stuck a $13/pound purple jelly belly up his nose. then all hell broke loose. he screamed in pain and eyes swelled up, purple snot running down his face. 

we worked on calling the doctors in our life...
searching for a pocket of service in one of the most famous cities in the world.
hey AT&T let's change that slogan. 
all while Callum is just roaming freely through the mall. he cannot be contained.

finally we get the expert tip (how have i never heard this before!!) to plug the nostril that does NOT have the bean in it, put your mouth over theirs and blow. all manner of particles will fly out, and mostly land on your face. 
more swimming on Sunday. 
swimming made the trip so lovely and relaxing. 
80 degree sunshine on our winterized skin. heaven.

Cal especially loved it. he thinks he can swim, and his fearlessness thrills and terrifies us all.

we stayed at the Cosmopolitan and it is such a gorgeous hotel. we loved it. the bathroom is see-through for sexy showering and peeing (i guess?) and as my boys stuck their bum cheeks on the glass laughing, 
i kept thinking again, this is not what vegas meant when they made this shower. 

one day while i was getting ready, Hayes comes sauntering in with his spensy room service PB&J, his straw hat that he wouldn't take off all weekend, and nothing else, takes a wiz, gives me the head nod, and walks back out. such a boss.

and here was our hotel room view. not bad right?
so in conclusion. Vegas with kids is doable. fun even. but the odds are not in your favor. 
either way, we had a great weekend to leave our cares at the door, and just be together.
thanks LV!


Because of Jackie said...

Oh my, that is EXACTLY what would go down with our family, word for word. It is always filled with "did that just happen?" moments, which I wouldn't change for the world. Ha!

Jaime-Lee said...

This entire post cracked me right up! Sounds like a manic but fun trip! And that photo of Cal in the pool? Crazy adorable! xoxo

charity said...

Had me laughing out loud!! (Sorry, Iz, go back to sleep baby.). So much fun

charity said...

Had me laughing out loud!! (Sorry, Iz, go back to sleep baby.). So much fun

Kent and Leisy said...

I'm totally telling kent to give out that 'stuck up your nose' advice to his patients parents! what a great idea.

Angela and Enrique said...

Love it Emily! You are such a good writer and I love keeping up on you and your family.

Beth Perry said...

OH MY GOSH!!! soooo flippin funny!

Lizzie said...

I'm rolling. This post is hilarious.

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